jokes yang amat sangat garing

Suatu hari disebuah Mall ternama di Kota "B" terjadi keributan antara seorang oknum TNI berpangkat Lettu dengan oknum Polisi berpangkat Kompol.

Keributan itu menjadi tontonan gratis bagi pengunjung mall. Tapi tak ada 1 pun pengunjung yg berani atau mencoba melerainya. Hanya ada seorang satpam tua yg berusaha menenangkan kedua oknum tersebut.

Tiba2 suasana semakin memanas...!!!
Kedua oknum tersebut sama2 mencabut pistolnya sehingga membuat pengunjung berteriak histeris dan lari berhamburan.

Karena takut terjadi hal2 yg tidak diinginkan, misalnya ada pengunjung yg terkena peluru nyasar dll, satpam tua itu segera bertindak.

Terdengar suara keras, "Plak...plak....!!!"
Rupanya satpam tua itu menampar kedua oknum tersebut.
Dan sungguh menakjubkan, kedua oknum tersebut menyarungkan pistolnya kembali lalu pergi kearah berbeda meninggalkan Mall tersebut.

Seorang wartawan yg kebetulan menyaksikan peristiwa itu merasa takjub atas tindakan heroik satpam tua itu menyelamatkan orang2 yg berada disekitar Mall.

Kemudian wartawan itu mewawancarai satpam tua itu.

"Mereka berdua anak saya, memang dari kecil kl ngk saya gamparin ngk bakal berhenti berantem...." Jawab satpam tua itu

Roller Coaster Paling Curam di Dunia Takabisha

Roller Coaster Paling Curam di Dunia Takabisha

---

Fuji Q Highland, sebuah taman hiburan di Jepang memiliki roller coaster paling curam di dunia. Disebut dengan roller coaster Takabisha, yang mampu berakselerasi hingga kecepatan 100 km/jam, memiliki penurunan sepanjang 43 meter dan terjun bebas dengan kemiringan 121 derajat.

Roller Coaster Takabisha Jepang mengalahkan pemegang rekor roller coaster tercuram sebelumnya yakni the Le Timber Drop di Perancis, yang memiliki sudut kemiringan 113,1 derajat.

Fuji Q Highland menginvestasikan sejumlah US$ 37 juta guna pengembangan Takabisha tersebut. Kamu hanya memerlukan waktu 112 detik untuk sekali putaran dengan biaya US$ 12,50 saja.

garing dikit

Guru : Tolenk....kamu tahu siapa WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE itu ???
Tolenk : Hmmmm... saya sich tidak mengenalnya secara pribadi BU....
tp dia adalah teman baik abang saya ....
Guru : HAH ???!!! apa kamu bilang ???
Beliau itu udah meninggal 350 th yang lalu.... tahu ???!!!


waaahh..... kalau begitu tolong dech BU....please,
jangan bilang ke ABANG saya, si WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE udah meninggal ya....
nanti dia SHOCK BERAT !!!

Kahitna

yap ini adalah nama sebuah band asli band ini keren banget :) tapi juga jadul banget. gue tau band ini dari bapak gue pertama kali lagu yang gue denger adalah setahun kemarin menyentuh hati so perfect *husslebay-_-. tapi banyak temen-temen gue yang gak tau band ini ada sih temen gue yang tau namanya dara yaampun kita tuh emang kece B) anyway gue mau nge-share liriknya here it goes:

Setahun Kemarin

Artist: kahitna

Di ujung jalan itu
setahun kemarin, ku teringat
Entah berapa lama
Satu jam menanti, kutermenung
Kencan pertama hilang tak bertepi di anganku

Melangkah pergi Berteman sepi
Berbayang teduh matamu

Sayang, walau bulan tak bercahaya
Cintaku selalu dalam jiwa
Di lubuk hati terdalam

Sayang, jika memang kau sungguh sayang
Diriku takkan berpaling lagi
Ku peluk selamanya

 

kahitna forever in memoriam O:)

Di tengah hari bolong, si teddy bergegas ke warung nasi untuk makan.Udara sangat panas menyengat, karena tak tahan kehausan, begitu sampe warung si teddy pun lansung memesan minuman..

T=Teddy
P=penjual

T: mas es jeruk satu ya P:maaf mas,jeruknya lagi kosong T: kalo gitu es jus alpukat aja mas P: alpukatnya juga kosong mas Teddy mulai kesal 
T: hmm kalo gitu es kelapa muda aja P: kalo kelapa muda ada mas,tapi ga ada yg ngebelah mas  Teddy makin kesall  
T: gula pasir ada mas?
P: ada mas
T: es batu ada?
P: ada mas
T: air teh panas ada?
P: ada juga mas, oh mas mau saya bikin es teh manis ya?  T:bukan,tapi tolong bikinkan saya ES TEH MANIS PANAS YA MASS

lazy song

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't

I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all, nothing at all

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)

Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

Iyiyi- cody simpson

(Cody Simpson)
Cody Simpson, y-yeah

(Flo Rida)
Sh-shawty who dat, who dat, you think always missing you
I-I-I cannot get enough of kissing you
I don't cry-y-y, ok I she'd a tear, or two
On the gri-i-ind, yeah, but girl ain't no forgetting you, cuz

(Cody Simpson)
Every minute, every second, every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Everytime that I'm away
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Every moment that is stolen, it can never be replaced
Iyiyi
Even if it's for a day
Iyiyi
I'm a text you up to say
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Oh baby whenever I'm gone, I'm wishing I was back home
I can feel your heart when we're apart
Girl I'm on my way, trust every word I say
I can't wait to see your face
And when I said goodbye, I saw the tears in your eyes as you started to cry
I took your hand, and promised I'll be right back
Girl I'm coming right back to see you smile

So girl, what I gotta do to make you see
I mean what I say to you
I'll send you a picture, let you know I miss ya
Girl send me a kiss, I can't wait to see ya

Every minute, every second, every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Everytime that I'm away
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Every moment that is stolen, it can never be replaced
Iyiyi
Even if it's for a day
Iyiyi
I'm a text you up to say
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/cody_simpson/iyiyi.html ]
Remember when we first met, I had to tell you that
I couldn't live without your love
Baby I must confess, we were the perfect match
You we're a gift sent from above
When you're thinking about me, text 1-4-3
That means I love you girl
I'll be your,
Everything you know you need
Oh baby, let your heart take the lead

Ooh, so girl, what I gotta do to make you see
I mean what I say to you
I'll send you a picture, let you know I miss ya
Girl send me a kiss, I can't wait to see ya

Every minute, every second, every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Everytime that I'm away
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Every moment that is stolen, it can never be replaced
Iyiyi
Even if it's for a day
Iyiyi
I'm a text you up to say
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

(Flo verse:)
Lil mama, ain't nobody else, I need you girl
I-I-I got intentions just to please you girl
And I try-y-y, lady that's what you deserve
Superfly-y-y be more precious than a pearl
I can't li-i-ie, pictures in my living room
When I ri-i-ide, dashboard, digital
To the sky-y-y, so thankful that you're in my world
Do or di-i-ie, baby, I ain't kidding you

I don't wanna be your distant man
Tellin me I don't do enough for plans
I really can't afford to let it hit the fan
Girl, every minute I wanna hold your hand
Ain't no limit to the words I'm saying
I don't wanna rock with a brand new band
Just you, lil mama, that's grand
I've been all over the land, and

Every minute, every second, every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Every hour of the day
Iyiyi
Everytime that I'm away
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Every moment that is stolen, it can never be replaced
Iyiyi
Even if it's for a day
Iyiyi
I'm a text you up to say
Iyiyi
Missing you, missing you

Oh, yeah
I'm missing you

jokes-_-

Pembeli : mas berapa jeruknya sekilo ?
Pemjual : 5000 rupiah
Pembeli : wah manis gak ,mas ?
Penjual : jamin manis bu , kalau asem gak usah bayar deh
Pembeli : tolong bungkus sekilo yang asem yah..
___________________

Cewek : mas merokok ?
Cowok : tidak
Cewek : mas suka minum miras ?
Cowok : tidak
Cewk : mas suka judi ?
Cowok : tidak
Cewek :Mas suka main perempuan ?
Cowok : tidak
Cewek : hobbi mas apa ?
Cowok: bo'ong
___________________

Di Rumah sakit Jiwa
DR : Min sedang apa ?
Pasien : sedang tulis surat dok
DR : oh , unutk siapa Min ?
Pasien : unutk saya sendiri
DR : isi suratnya apa Min ?
Pasien : gak tau dok , kan sampenya besok

=D Mengapa sepeda motor mereknya “yamaha”?
Sebab bikinan jepang kalau bikinan arab mereknya “ya mahmud”...

=D Kenapa ayam jantan selesai kimpoi selalu mematuk kepala ayam betina?
Biar ayam betinanya lupa siapa yang udah ngawinin dia....



=D Mengapa air laut asin?
Karena ikannya pada keringetan dikejar-kejar nelayan....

=D Superman, Batman & Robin, lebih bego siapa?
Batman, soalnya pake jubah tapi nggak bisa terbang.
Robin ga kalah bego juga, udah tau Batman bego, malah ditemenin

"Someone Like You"

"Someone Like You"

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."